when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
