so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
