I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
