i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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