its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
