How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
