don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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