My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
