No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
