i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Randomize
