so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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