yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
