I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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