I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
