My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
