JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
