I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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