he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
A+ Viking dick
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
