She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
