my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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