I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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