I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
