This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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