I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just had sex on a roof
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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