Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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