so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
vagina is talking i cant
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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