Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
