East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i dont even know how to be here
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I wear drunk well.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
