I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
