I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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