This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
