I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
