He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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