it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
