That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
