Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
