Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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