the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
