what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
whose parrot is this?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
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