pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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