Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
