Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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