whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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