I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
