my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
