well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
