Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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