Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
