i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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