So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
