can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
