ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
