Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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