no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
