what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We don't watch enough power rangers
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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