i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
being pregnant is like rehab
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
